The Grumpies...

"I have grumpies all over my body, mommy." ~Isaac at 2-years-old

He was talking about goosebumps in that moment, and it gave us a good chuckle. But now, at 3-years-old, this young boy seems to be battling the real "grumpies" every day. He wakes up grumpy and goes to bed grumpy. And I feel like I've tried everything under the sun to ward off his bad moods. I will share some things that we've tried, and kindly ask for ideas of how YOU have dealt with this in your family! (Please tell me that I am not the only parent with a perpetually grumpy toddler!)

First let me paint a picture of what I mean by "grumpy." When Isaac wakes up from his nap, we open his door, and he SLAMS it right in our face. He'll whine that he doesn't want to wake up, so I'll gently guide him back to his bed. At this point, he is usually crying and saying, "NO! I want to go downstairs!" Okay...downstairs we'll go. I carry him down, with a scowl on his face. When he meets his sister in the living room, he bats his hand toward her, saying, "NO! I don't want YOU!" This is when I'll typically have him go sit down for some much needed time-out. He stomps on his way, still with an ugly scowl on his face. He will sometimes snap out of it in an instant. But most days, this grumpy behavior persists off and on throughout the day. There have even been times when he has said to me, "I'm going to be grumpy when we go there." So he has PLANNED to be grumpy in certain situations. I'm using the word grumpy, but honestly it's just plain rudeness...and it's UGLY...with a capital U! 

We've tried ignoring the behavior, and simply waiting until he is in a better mood to interact with him. This has been effective some of the time, and not so much the others. We've also disciplined or corrected the grumpy behavior, having him sit in time-out until he's ready to be kind and loving. I try to remember what triggers his grumpiness, and I know that when he's hungry, he can be EXTRA grumpy. So I try to make sure that his belly is full or give him a little snack the moment it starts up.

I've offered him rewards for choosing to be kind, rather than grumpy, but he usually forgets and the grumpies take over. I've tried acting silly, singing songs, dancing, and tickling...all in an effort to distract him from his grumpiness. I've also put him in front of the television, which works temporarily, but once the 25-minute show is over, the grumpiness is back in full-force. We've tried mocking his grumpy face, scowling back at him...followed by much laughter. And the biggest thing I do is continually PRAY for his little heart. This grumpiness can be SO draining. Sometimes I feel like a clown trying to cheer up an impossibly grumpy child. I am SO over it...but am also hopeful that he will not be this way forever. (God help me if he is!) And in the meantime, I will continue praying for him as I search for new ways to deal with these grumpies.

Sweet Naomi...

My sweet baby girl has been teaching me a thing or two about gratitude lately. We are sticklers on politeness in our family. A little please, thank-you, or sorry can go a long way. As my children ask for things, I require that they ask with "please," and once their request has been granted, I require a "thank you, mommy." I do this from the moment they begin babbling, and I continue to remind them to use manners. And it is SO fun when it finally starts to pay off!

At just 20 months old, Naomi is really beginning to get it down, using politeness without prompting. I have always joked that being a mom is a thankless job. But I can't really say that anymore! Naomi has even thanked me for changing her diaper!! I've never met a toddler who was so full of gratitude. I did not teach her to say thank you after I do things for her (wiping off her face, putting her bib on, or zipping up her pajamas, for example). I've just required a thank-you when I or someone else gives her something. But it has amazingly transferred to all areas...and she seems to be filled with genuine gratitude.

I cannot begin to describe how my heart swells with love and generosity as she does this. It's as if the more she thanks me for the little random things that I do for her, the more I want to do and give. How much more does our Father in Heaven enjoy when we have a genuine heart of gratitude toward the things He does and gives to us? I wonder if the more we praise Him...the more thankful we are for the simple things...the more He wants to give to us?

Today, I am thankful for my sweet daughter, who is teaching me the art of being thankful. Her name means "beautiful, pleasant, delightful" and she is SO living up to her name! Thank you, Lord...for blessing us with such a sweet, delightful little girl whom You are already using to change people's lives...namely, mine! :)

Experiment - Days 2 and 3

Day 2

*I will not be doing as detailed of an account of my days as I did the first day, but rather, give little summaries of how the days go.*

7:00am - up with Isaac first, then Naomi

8:00am - had some adorable breakfast conversation with Isaac...about how things aren't really ours, but how everything belongs to God. After thinking for a minute, he asks, "Mommy, why can't we see God?" Wow. Great question!! I LOVE seeing his little mind work to understand things. SO cool. We talked about the wind and how we can't see it, even though we can feel it...and how God is kind of the same way.

9:30am - Isaac helped me change some batteries in a little clock radio. I was shocked when he instructed ME: "Mommy...the flat side goes on the springs." Wow...I guess daddy must have been working with him on this, as I've never taught him that!

10:30am - preschool playtime at the Y...the kids have a BLAST!! :)

12:00pm - lunch, then naptime.

Throughout the afternoon, we had lots of free play, which included Isaac practicing more on his new balance bike...as well as time to play with playdough, make a delicious peanut butter playdough snack (using our kitchen helper), and watch one tv show. All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Day 3

6:40am - Naomi is up, then closely followed by Isaac. And then we all watched a show together.

7:45am - I let the kids help feed and get water for Mona. They LOVED having a job to do!

9:00am - Both kiddos had their first dental cleaning and did remarkably well. All of the hygienists and dentist were commenting on how great they did and also how great their teeth look! Yay! :)

10:00am - Snack Time...doggy style! :) On the floor, eating with their mouths only. Some may gasp at the idea of allowing my children to eat off the floor. But it was by their request and we had a wonderful conversation about the difference between dogs and people. Dogs have paws, but God gave us hands with fingers so we can eat with them! Super silly...and super FUN snack time!

11:00am - After coloring, reading books, conducting a puppet show (that reinforced what we learned about dogs earlier), and some free-play, we are all bored. I didn't do a good job of planning our day. So now they are being entertained by Curious George as I prepare lunch.

12:00pm - Both kids are down for nap. Scheduled an appointment for this afternoon for Isaac to see the doctor (his ear is bothering him).

2:45pm - Took Isaac to the doctor...confirmed that he has another ear infection...poor guy. :( No wonder he's been so whiny and grumpy today!

3:30pm - Movie time! I popped some popcorn and enjoyed a movie with the kiddos.

10:49pm - Just finished watching a tv show of my own, then jotted down some ideas for tomorrow. Some of them include: playing with coffee beans, having Isaac work on cutting and pasting, talk about triangles, work on counting and arranging things by size, getting out the floor piano mat and making music, and making cookies. I would also love to have some friends over, so we'll see how that goes. :)

Got a little something up my sleeve....

I've been really slacking on here lately! But I've been blogging elsewhere! That's right!! Over the past 48 hours, I have conceived and birthed another blog! It's called Treasures from the Trenches, and is going to serve as my way of writing about any and all parenting-type issues that I'm working through. I have been so encouraged any time that I've shared my struggles and successes with other mommy friends, so I'm gonna have a place to do that more often! :)

I am planning to still keep up with this blog as well. This is where I will keep more personal information updated...what the kiddos are up to...and stuff like that. If you've been someone who has been reading this blog, I'd LOVE it if you'd follow my other one too! :) I am really excited about it, and hope that it ends up blessing other mommies who are "in the trenches" with me! :)

You can click here to access the blog: http://www.treasuresfromthetrenches.com

On a completely separate note, I totally wanted to blog about an emergency visit to the pediatrician this week. The patient: Naomi Grace. Big brother was trying to help her up off the ground, but yanked too hard, and her elbow came out of socket (Nursemaids Elbow). This was a first for her, but we've have it happen about 5 or 6 times with Isaac. After the second time, the doctor just showed me how to fix it myself. And I have...about 3 or 4 times! I tried with Naomi, but it didn't work. :( Poor thing! But the doctor was able to help her right away. And true to Naomi's style, she sweetly thanked the doctor: "dank you, doctow." :) SO precious!!

And now I leave you with one of my favorite recent pics...

LOVE these two!!

Experiment - Day One

6:00am - up and getting ready to go workout at the gym with a friend. just started training to compete in a triathlon this summer.

6:20am - just as I finished praying for my kiddos to sleep for awhile longer, for Kevin's sake, Naomi began screaming her head off.

6:22am - sitting on the couch, reading my devotional, as I wait for my ride. Naomi runs up to me, and I pat her on the head and tell her good morning (without really looking at her). She follows with LOUD cries...with tears even. She's obviously still tired and wants me to hold her. But in the name of finishing my short time with God, I don't. She runs back to daddy for comfort.

6:26am - she walks past me and unprompted, says: "I'm sawy mommy." My heart melts. Where did she learn this?!? :)

7:45am - return home. Naomi runs up to me, starting the "my mommy" game. I warn that if she continues, she'll be sitting in time-out. Isaac runs over and wants hugs too. I'm on the ground, with both kiddos in my lap.

7:49am - I run upstairs to change clothes. Tempted to turn on the computer, but I resist! :)

7:55am - as we're eating breakfast, Isaac asks, "Can we please watch a show?" I tell him not while we're eating, and that I wasn't sure if we'd do any shows today. He shrugged. Quickly finished his Mini-wheats, then said, "Okay...can I please watch Curious George now?" UGH. What do I DO? He asked SO kindly and without whining.

8:01am - both kids are sitting, peacefully glued to the television, as I finish my bowl of Multi-grain Cheerios. I turn my phone onto silent after checking email and the weather for the day. :)8:10am - okay this is weird. They are occupied and I don't know what to do with myself. Though I just realized there's a dishwasher full of clean dishes and a sink full of dirty ones. Off to do the dishes! :)

8:25am - dishes are done. Curious George is over. Having a heated discussion with Kevin regarding time and schedules.

8:33am - both kids hanging on my legs, yelling, "MY MOMMY!" both sent to time-out. Once time-out has been served, we turn on some FUN kids music and dance.

8:50am - leave by myself for an appointment with the chiropractor. feeling stressed and preoccupied with our frustrating argument this morning.

9:25am - came home to TWO naked babies!! enjoying watching them play and playing with them. :)9:45am - day-planning while they play well together: 10:30-preschool playtime at the YMCA, 12:00-lunch, 12:45-naps, 2:30-outside playtime, 3:30-snack10:02am - UGH. They are playing VERY well together. I mentioned that we will need to get dressed soon so we can go to the Y. Isaac's response: "NO! I don't want to go to the 'MCY' because I'm grumpy when I go there." He's probably remembering back to the last time I left them in childcare to workout. They were both hysterical when I picked them up. Hmmmmm.10:05am - Okay...I'm changing the plans. They are having WAY too much fun playing dress-up. LOVING this!! :)10:15am - calling friends, trying to set up a last-minute playdate.

10:55am - just spent 20-25 minutes on the phone (between three different friends). Bad idea. It's so last minute and highly unlikely that anyone could come anyway. While it was nice to chat with those mommies, my kids destroyed the living room, messed with the blinds (which they know is a no-no), and were struggling to show kindness to one another. Then just as I was getting off the phone, Naomi had started doing something that we spank her for (turning a specific chair on it's back and pushing it along the hardwood floor). UGH. I got down at her level and let her know why shed be getting a spanking. She apologized and then got her consequence.11:00am - Playdough time!! :)
11:20am - let kids play alone while I get started on lunch.
11:34am - just kidding! changed Naomi's diaper (poop), then she asked to go on the potty. Then, naturally, big brother had to go poop too! Handed out treats (two little fruit snacks). And NOW I'm ready to start on lunch...after I cleanup the Playdough mess! :)
11:46am - sit down to eat with kiddos (left-overs). And Isaac promptly states: "Wait! We forgot to go to the Y!" Seriously? I had to laugh out loud! I explained to him why we didn't make it.

11:48am - Isaac tips back in his chair and it goes crashing to the floor. He's okay. Crying, shakin up, and a little hurt, but otherwise okay. Teachable moment: "So WHY do you think it is that mommy and daddy always ask you to SIT on your bottom in this seat?" (silence) "Because we LOVE you and care about you and don't want you to get hurt. If you stand and move all around in this chair, you might fall down and get hurt and that's so sad. Would you like some ice for your foot?"
12:45pm - NAP time!! Put Naomi down first...then Isaac. Trying to decide - do I work on the blog, go online, etc...OR watch my saved episode of American Idol? (I went with working on the blog, btw.)

1:15pm - working on blog. Isaac's been quiet for a little while, but Naomi is still screaming her head off from her crib. She's REALLY fighting this nap. :(

2:01pm - Isaac's up...asking for water. Give him a drink and tell him to go back to sleep.

2:04pm - Isaac calls for me again...this time concerned about his owie. Not looking like I'll have much more of a break. UGH.

2:07pm - "Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy!!!!!" I let him scream and talk for a few minutes. Then decide he's spent enough time in there. Naptime over. Break over. Back on the job....

2:20pm - mommy and Isaac time...spend time reading through a Highlights magazine.

2:30pm - done with magazine. I'm feeling SO tired, so I am putting on a show for Isaac - Dinosaur Train. Waiting for Naomi to get up...then we'll have a snack and play outside. I'm gonna go download the photos I've had up to this point.

2:53pm - Naomi's up. Dinosaur Train coming to a stop.

3:00pm - Snack Time! Animal crackers, raisins, and peanuts...and I've got two VERY grumpy kiddos on my hands. When I set Isaac's snack on the table, he pushed it away and grunted. So I started eating from it. He began crying, but then to my delight, calmed down rather quickly, took in a deep breath, and asked, "Mommy, could I please have my snack now?" I gave it back to him, asking why he pushed it away if he really wanted it. He said, "I didn't want it then, but I do want it now."

3:11pm - Just realized that I have not even had so much as a sip of anything to drink today! BAD mommy!
3:25pm - OUTSIDE!! Sunny and beautiful, although still a wee bit chilly for me. SO tempted to take my book outside to read while they play together. This is SO hard!
4:25pm - STILL playing outside. I'm such a wuss. It's cold and windy out and I keep coming inside to watch them play from the warmth. :) I'm actually pretty bored.
5:10pm - in the middle of making dinner (Spaghetti)...kids are finally inside. And naked. They stripped down the moment they came in!
5:30pm-8:00pm - dinner, then playtime...followed by a bubble bath and bedtimes. Naomi was down by about 7:30 and Isaac around 8:15pm. All in all, it was a pretty good day.

8:36pm - Isaac just received some discipline and teaching from daddy.

8:49pm - He's still quiet, and I'm relieved to be done for the day. I had originally planned to do this whole logging out my day thing for this whole week, but this ended up defeating the purpose of why I'm doing all of this. I may do it again in a few days...we'll see how it goes. :)

The Great Behavior Experiment...

What would happen if I actually turned off my phone...turned off the TV...and logged off the Internet? What would happen if I actually WANTED to spend time with my kids? And ENJOYED my time with them? I am a stay-at-home mom to my two kiddos - Isaac and Naomi (3 and 20 months), and I am taking a week to simplify my life and be more available to my children.

Their behavior lately has been driving me CRAZY. And after having a complete meltdown earlier this week (me, not them). I decided something needed to change. I went out and bought, "Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman. I'm only through the second chapter, but have already come away with enough to evoke change. Though Dr. Leman did not come right out and say it, I realized as I was reading, that the problem isn't THEM...it's ME.

Whether it's spending time on Facebook, on the phone, watching TV, or reading books on how to raise better kids, if I take a real close look at my life, I have been AVOIDING the very subjects of my most important job! Sure...I am meeting their basic needs. They are well fed, clothed, bathed, have had diaper changes, and are even quite smart for their ages (doesn't every mommy think so?). And they are even well-mannered...saying "please," "thank you," "excuse me," and even "sorry," completely UNprompted!

But if I am being completely open and honest here, I have been neglecting one of their most desperate needs: ATTENTION. Sure...I may be right there in the room with them. But I'm on my phone - checking email, texting, or commenting on someone's post on Facebook. Or maybe I have the TV on, catching up on my recorded shows. Or lately, having my nose in a book...reading about how to change their behavior! What if the problem with their behavior is that they just want their mommy who has chosen to leave the outside workforce to stay at home with them...to actually BE with them?

So I am taking one week to try this out. I am silencing my phone while they are awake. Because I am embarrassed to admit that I have stopped in the middle of changing a poopy diaper to run and pick-up the phone when someone was calling...or worse - stopped RIGHT in the middle of reading them a book. It's quite ridiculous really. I can call people back when I have a free minute. I do not need to be a slave to my phone.

I am leaving my computer turned off...until naps (like now) and at night when they are in bed. No Facebook. No watching MY television shows while on the job. No reading...unless it's one of THEIR books...to them! :) I am going to take a week and actually spend TIME...quality time...with my kids. I'm going to get down on the floor and PLAY with them. Help them make up wild stories and imagine fun games to play. I am going to ENGAGE with them. And let's see what happens.

My theory is that their behavior is going to improve DRAMATICALLY. Especially given that their disobedience and fighting with one another typically happens when I'm not even present! I will be logging our daily activities and what kinds of things go on throughout the day. That will be the only thing that will take my time away from them. I will jot things down quickly in a notebook that I'll keep nearby.

I hope to grow and learn from this experience, and hope that other mommies will be encouraged to try it for themselves!! :)

Naomi - the hat model...