Gratitude...

{Photo from July 2011}

Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts? As I sit and watch my children playing with their daddy from a distance, my heart swells with love and adoration. This husband...these children...they are mine - my family. And my heart can't help but praise my God - the One from whom all blessings flow. And so I sit, soaking in His goodness, filled with awe and gratitude. Words are insufficient in this moment, as there are none to describe the depth of thankfulness within my heart. So I smile as my little heart dances and bows in humble acknowledgment of my limitations. And I smile because I know...that He knows. And really, nothing else matters. :)

35 weeks...

We are definitely in the homestretch now. :) At my appointment this week (35w4d), I was 2cm dilated, 50% effaced, and she was at a -1 station. VERY close to where I've been with both of my previous pregnancies right before going into labor. I've been having mild, painless contractions off and on for a couple of weeks now, so it's nice to know that they've actually been doing something! Hehe. :)

I know every pregnancy is different, as is every labor and delivery. We are wondering what will be in store for us this time around! :) It's crazy to think that my actual due date isn't for another month (December 23rd). I feel like she could come any day now! If she hasn't come on her own by next Tuesday, we have an u/s scheduled to check on her size and a doctor's appointment to follow. At that time, the doctor may decide to try to jumpstart things a little, and if my body is ready, then it should work...if it's not, then it won't. :)

It's all just a big waiting game! On a separate note, I need to do LOTS more updates to this blog, and hopefully I'll be able to find some time soon. :) But don't hold your breath! :)

Not so great mommy moment #492

This one took place over the weekend. My husband and I got the kids down for naps, but had told Isaac that as long as he remained quiet he could read books or play very quietly in his room. Naomi NEEDED a nap badly, but he was doing okay without. After coming out of his room a couple of times, as well as being asked to quiet down, he was one more noise away from having his lights turned out and banished to his bed for a nap. And then it happened. He began to SCREAM at the top of his lungs, "DADDY! DAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDY!" My husband was not around, and my pregnant self that was trying to rest got VERY frustrated. I stomped down the hallway, opened his door, and angrily said, "What is your problem? Why are you screaming? Get up IN YOUR BED....NOW." Then my eyes made their way down to what he was yelling for his daddy about. He had his little finger pointing to something in his new Bible. And he could hardly contain his excitement and wanted to share it with his daddy. With a huge frown on his face, he put the Bible down and quickly got into his bed. I felt AWFUL. Way to squelch his excitement over God's Word, mommy. Way to break his little heart. Where was the rewind button? I wanted to undo it, but it was already done. Just call me mother of the year right here, folks! Thankfully His grace is sufficient for me and all of my weaknesses! :)

Isaac wants to die...

We spent some time this morning looking back through our blog book from 2009. I was showing the kids what mommy looked like when Naomi was in my belly, and spent time reminiscing about when they were both babies. It was a really precious time together. And then we came across a photo of Naomi with their great grandmother, who passed away last year. Isaac was infatuated with the photo and it sparked a most wonderful conversation. This kid is a deep well.

Isaac: "Who is that, mommy?"
Mommy: "That's your great grandma holding Naomi."
Isaac: "Well I want to go to her house."
Mommy: "Oh honey, we can't. She's not alive anymore."
Isaac: "Why not?"
Mommy: "Well because she died."
Isaac: "Why did she die? Did Satan kill her?"
Mommy: "Oh dear, NO! She just got old. And that's what happens when people get old."
Isaac: "But what about Satan? Where is he?"
Mommy: "He is far away from God, in a dark, lonely place."
Isaac: "Is that where great grandma is?"
Mommy: "No, I don't think so. We're pretty sure she's in Heaven, with God."
Isaac: "I wanna be in Heaven with God too!"
Mommy: "Well some day I hope you will. All of our bodies will die some day, but our souls live forever. And if you choose to follow God...if you have Jesus living in your heart, then when you die, you get to be with God forever in Heaven."
Isaac: (silent for a minute) "Well I want to follow God. But how do I get Jesus to be in my heart?"
Mommy: "You just have to ask him."
Isaac: "Like how?"
Mommy: "Like you just ask Jesus if He will live in your heart. And when you ask Him, He ALWAYS does!"
Isaac: "And then I will be with God forever when I die?"
Mommy: "Yep. That's right."
Isaac: (silent for a minute...then very softly) "Jesus, will you come into my heart?"
Mommy: (smiling)
Naomi: "Jesus, come into MY heart, too!"
Mommy: "And when Jesus lives in our hearts, He changes our hearts. He helps us to be kind and loving to everyone."
Isaac: "Hey Naomi - I'm going to choose to die so I can go to Heaven and be with God...and see great grandma!"
Mommy: "Well, buddy...I hope you don't die for a long time."
Isaac: "But I want to be with God and see great grandma!"
Mommy: "I know you do, sweetie. But did you know that God is already with us? We can be with Him here too. He's alive IN us!"
Isaac: "But what about great grandma?"
Mommy: "Well, we can look at pictures and remember her, and look forward to seeing her again one day."

The conversation went on and on like this. Lots of deep, thought-provoking questions from this little guy. He is fascinated with death and dying. And is now fascinated with the idea of Heaven. I wanted to record this conversation, as it was just so sweet and innocent. I love his heart and his desire to learn more about God. And to think...this is just the beginning. I look forward to many more beautiful conversations like these from this little man...he's helping me grow as well!