Change is coming.

It seems as though I've completely fallen off the blogging planet! Geesh! This season is a crazy one for us to be sure. And it hasn't been without major stress. I realized this past week that I have been working WAY too many hours. Pretty much if I'm awake...I'm working. Either working, playing, caring for, or whatever else I do with the kiddos...or when they go to sleep...I start working on business related stuff. Always. There is ALWAYS something hanging over my head. I have a perpetually never-ending list of "to-do's" for my business. And it's been weighing me down lately.

I don't know what it is to sit down and enjoy a good book or watch a TV show or take a walk on a nice evening. All I know these days is work, work, and more work. Soooooo...I decided to make myself a schedule. I built in three days off every week (one of them being today, hence the time to blog). :) And by off...that means that during the kids' naps I am not allowing myself to do anything work-related. And when they go to bed...again...nothing work-related. It's ME time. I can enjoy some time hanging out with my hubby or social-networking online (Facebook, blogging, etc)...or dare I say that I might begin a new book? ;)

I waited SO many years to be a mommy. And my DREAM was to stay at home so that I could spend quality time with them and joyfully raise them. I did not plan to be an entrepreneur...running what would be considered by some, a fairly successful business. I didn't intend to be a working mom. But here I am. It all kind of just fell into my lap. And please don't get me wrong...I REALLY do LOVE being a photographer. I do. I just have not been good about prioritizing my time and managing my work. And therefore, I have become a stressed-out, always exhausted, highly impatient, not-completely-here kind of mommy. And that just breaks my heart.

So things are going to change. They have to. I am at the end of my rope in so many ways! I am excited to have a new work "schedule!" :) I am looking forward to having days OFF...though for anyone who is a mommy...you know that you never really truly get one of those! ;) Hehe. But at least days off of my other job. It'll be good. And hopefully that'll mean I get to spend some more time better documenting my own family's life!

I keep thinking in the back of my head how funny all of this is, really. I have this post about how stressed I am with my business, and yet I am currently in the running for "BEST Portrait Photographer" in central Indiana - a title that I would be honored to receive! I'm SO thankful that there isn't a category for "BEST mommy" in central Indiana...cause sadly, I would probably rank closer to the bottom of that one! I need to do some life re-arranging here and really focus on what matters most to me.

More later! I'm off to enjoy more of my "FREE" time!! :)