My first confession is that I am HORRIBLE at keeping my house orderly. I let piles of mail, receipts, dishes, and junk collect on my kitchen table and counters. We have piles of STUFF everywhere. I love to be organized, but have a hard time getting from point A to point B. And to be honest, half the time I don't even "see" the clutter. Also, I am not one who typically values cleanliness over other things in life. Should I take a shower or sleep? Sleep. Clean the kitchen or check my email? Email. There is always something more important for me to be doing...than cleaning. :)
When I made the choice to make staying at home with my children my job...I knew that it would involve more than just caring for and raising our children. I knew it came with other "chores" as well. I hope I can learn how to efficiently manage my home so my family feels good living here.
My second confession is that I have been spending WAY too much time on my new hobby. I spend LOTS of time online researching the latest trends in photography. I have wish lists for props and backgrounds. I submit photos for critique...and spend countless hours looking at the works of other photographers. I am learning...A TON. And I have been dreaming of doing this as a business someday...maybe even sooner than later.
I think I am enjoying this so much because I am getting feedback from my work. I produce something, and get results. With my job as stay-at-home mom, there is no feedback. I haven't set any goals for myself. I don't really know what I'm working toward. I spend my days with a baby who can't really communicate with me. I don't get any sort of thanks for changing a gazillion diapers each day or for teaching my baby to do new things. Most of the time, my work goes unnoticed. And I am realizing that I am a person who thrives on affirmation. I am motivated to do better work when someone recognizes the good work that I am doing.
Anyway...this is beginning to get long-winded! Sorry! :) All this to say...I want to be a better mommy to my kids. A better wife to my husband. And a better (shiver) homemaker for my family. ;) I want to put my all into this new job of mine. I can become a wonderful photographer over the years. But that's not my 'job' right now. Though it makes me feel great to get such positive feedback, I need to just keep it at that. I need to focus my attention on the most important job I have...raising up healthy, loving children who will one day have families of their own! I hope I do better with this in 2009!! :)
Here are some recent pictures of my silly sweetness...
And here's a recent photo of my growing belly...
4 comments:
someone's been doing some self reflection ;) thanks for sharing yourself. i hope w/ the new year that you are able to focus more on what u know your priorities are...
Looks like Isaac has something to say about this! The pics in the blankie are sweet. You're obviously doing a fabulous job - just look at your work product (the babay)! You are feeling what all mothers feel off and on - it's a thankless job on the outside. You *might* get affirmation when your children become adults, but more than likely not until they have children themselves. Just take a look around you and see how very successful you are. I had a print that said something like... "the dust and dirt will wait - babies will not." Enjoy these early childhood times with your son and husband because they'll be gone before you know it!
I am a fellow ff friend. You are an amazing photographer. I love your work. And you sound exactly like me about what I want to work on....I could have written that myself. God is good and will bring many blessings of 2009. I am a March mommy and hoping to have a new little one myself! Congrats to you and your husband.
When you put wife and mommy on the list before housekeeper, no one, but yourself, will find fault in that!
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