Loving this weather...

Here we are in the middle of November in Indiana...and experiencing highs in the mid-70's. And LOVING every minute of it!! :) Isaac has developed a serious love of hiking with daddy. I snapped some photos the other day while the kiddos played outside. Yes, our backyard looks like a zoo! But it's fun! :) Here they are...

She looks SO thrilled here, doesn't she? :)



















And our beloved Mona Lisa...still going strong! :)

Another bump in the road...

This isn't the long post I have been promising (still working on it), but is a blog post from my Facebook page with other big news...

I wasn't going to share this publicly, but I need all the prayer I can get right about now. Many of you know that we experienced our third miscarriage just a few months ago. What many of you DON'T know is that it was actually a partial molar pregnancy. If you are like most people, you probably have NO CLUE what that is. Here is a good link that explains it.

Immediately following the miscarriage, I had to have a chest x-ray and then weekly blood draws until my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels were down to zero. I've been going back for monthly blood draws to make sure that the HCG levels remain at zero for at least a year. We were also heart-broken when we were told that we were not allowed to get pregnant for an entire year.

My bloodwork this past week has indicated a rise in HCG levels. This can mean one of two things: I have become pregnant while PREVENTING, which can be bad news (possible very high-risk pregnancy), OR the molar tissue has begun to spontaneously redevelop, which will require chemotherapy for treatment. Either way is not good. I was strictly forbidden from getting pregnant for 12 months, which is why we were preventing. If we have actually gotten pregnant, it has got to be an act of God Himself, because I cannot count the number of months we have spent trying to conceive throughout our marriage...and the FIRST month of PREVENTING pregnancy, we fall pregnant? How random is THAT?!? And truly not very likely.

But the alternative of the tissue metastasizing is also highly unlikely, with less than a 10% chance of recurrence. So this is a complete mystery to us. And here I sit, in the agony of not knowing WHAT is growing within my womb. Is it truly a miracle baby? Or is it the stupid tissue spreading again? Will I need chemo? And what will that mean? What if this disease spreads to the other parts of my body? What then? Will this make it even LONGER that we'll have to wait to have more children? And why? Why? WHY?

All I keep thinking is that the Lord must have some pretty freaking amazing plans for us. If we have to continue going through this crap...these trials. He must be refining us...getting us ready for something big. And so we roll with it again. While I am tempted to feel extremely frustrated and angry with my stupid body, I can't allow myself to be overwhelmed by those things. Instead, I will choose to be filled with the Spirit of God who gives me peace that passes ALL understanding. :) I don't need to know why these things are happening. I just need to accept them and allow these circumstances to hurl me into the loving arms of my Savior. Because He, alone, is my comfort...and the very reason that I do not and will not give up.

So basically, we are in waiting mode. The doctor is frustrated with us, thinking that we were irresponsible. But we truly were not. She made it perfectly clear that it could be life-threatening to me or the baby if we were to get pregnant. Apparently if the molar tissue begins to metastasize while I'm pregnant, we would be put into a situation in which we would have to choose between saving the baby's life or mine. (Do I allow cancer to spread throughout my body during the pregnancy or do I treat it with chemo and therefore kill the baby?) How crappy of a situation would THAT be? But it is NOT guaranteed. It is rare for the tissue to metastasize anyway. But it's also rare for us to get pregnant so easily...especially while preventing.

It is a mystery. And we are trying to make sense of it all. We will begin to find out more over the next couple of weeks, with more bloodwork and eventually early ultrasounds. But in the meantime, would you join us in prayer? I honestly don't know how or what to pray at this point. Mostly for joy and peace throughout this journey, I suppose would be the best. I confess that I shy away from praying for exactly what I want (for there to be a perfectly healthy baby that will grow to full-term without ANY complications throughout the entire pregnancy). :) As one of the proverbs says, "A hope deferred makes the heart sick." And I just have such a hard time hoping for something so deep and unlikely. (We've experienced THREE pregnancy losses up to now...so I kinda know what it's like to hope for something and then lose it.)

ANYway...this has gotten long. All of this to say...would you please join us in prayer?

Love you all!
Leslie

And an update from today: according the the doctor, my numbers seem to be within a healthy range for a normal pregnancy...NOT the cancerous tissue metastasizing. To me, this was the best possible news we could have gotten. The odds are in our favor to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy and baby. But they are going to be monitoring me like crazy throughout this pregnancy....beginning with an ultrasound this Thursday. I will update after we find out what that shows. :)

Changes are coming...

I am working on a VERY long post that will outline some pretty major life changes that we're about to undergo. Will update SOON...

Happy Halloweeny!

The kiddos had a GREAT time this weekend...first at their Nana's office for some trick-or-treating, and then throughout our neighborhood. Isaac had a hard time waiting until the end before opening up his candy. Pretty funny. And Naomi has acquired a few new words: "punkin" "canny" (candy) and "come on!" SO cute!! :) She also surprised us this week with a 5-word sentence: "I unna tye it." Okay...so it's four words when I write it out so you can see how it sounded. But she said, "I want to try it." :) She's getting to be a feisty little thing! :)

Anyway...here are some photos of my little monkey and kitty...LOVE them!

Isaacisms...

I realized that it's been awhile since I've put some "Isaacisms" up here. This kid talks like a 4-5-year-old. It is rare that we don't understand what he says, as he speaks with great fluency and clarity. We are constantly surprised by his cleverness and his keen awareness of feelings...mostly his, but many times others as well. Here are just a few examples from the past week or two...

After being told for the third time to lay back down for his nap, he exclaims, "I'm frustrated....because I don't like to sleep."

Getting into the van, Isaac saw one of the large poles from my photography background stand that had slid under his seat. He asked what it was, and I told him it was a rod. He thought for a minute and then very concerned, he asked, "How are you going to spank me with THIS?"

Kevin and I were having a rare heated discussion while driving in the van with the kiddos. It wasn't a major deal, but we just got excited as we were talking. When we got quiet, Isaac asks from the back seat, "Guys, what are you doing?" I smiled, and said, "We were talking, sweetie." To which he replied, "I heard you talking, and you were talking loud. And I didn't like that. When you talked loud like that, it made me feel...sick." We hid our laughter at his innocence. And I asked what he meant. He said, "It makes my belly feel sick when I hear you talk loud like that. I don't like it." Bless his sweet heart!! :) We had the whole adults-have-arguments-sometimes-and-it's-okay-because-we-love-each-other-and-we-work-it-out-with-respect talk. SO precious.

If I have to ever raise my voice in the slightest to get his attention, he says, "Mommy. I think you scared me when you did that. And that makes me sad. It makes me sad when you scare me like that."

And he is also ALWAYS dialoguing about what he's doing and/or thinking. Here's an example from this week:

As I was carrying him into my mom's house, he started talking about the toy he had in his hand, "Nana's gonna ask me what's in my hand. And I'm gonna tell her it's my ring. And then she's gonna ask where I got it. And I'm gonna say from home!"

He has also really been into telling stories lately. He'll make up something and then end it with, "And THAT'S my story!" I think we can thank his favorite TV show for that one! (Super Why)

He has started saying, "That's ridiculous!" to certain things, as in when Kevin disciplined him the other day!! :)

He's also been saying, "OH MY GOSH!" a lot lately. :( Not sure where he got that one!

Potty Time!

Potty training updates

Isaac: More or less completely poop-trained. (Can I get a hallelujah!?) But showing pretty much zero interest in letting us know when he needs to pee. He will even say, "Hey mommy...I'm peeing in my pull-up right now!" UGH! He goes pee on the potty throughout the day (before and after sleeping usually)...any pretty much any time we put him on the toilet, he does go. But he just doesn't care at all about paying attention to his cues and letting us know. Hmmmmm....

Naomi: I cannot believe that I actually have anything to report on with her (given that she's not even 17 months old!). But just yesterday, she walked up to me with a funny look on her face, patted her little bottom, and said, "Poo-pee." To which I replied, "Do you want mommy to change your diaper?" She nodded frantically and RAN over to the changing table saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Sure enough...she had just pooped! :) Then while at the doctor's office this afternoon, Naomi found a little step stool. She ran up to it, yelling, "Potty, potty, potty!" I acknowledged that it kind of looked like a little potty chair, and asked if she'd like to pretend and sit on it. She promptly scooted her little bottom onto the stool, smiled really big, and said, "I pee-pee!" as she patted the front of her diaper. She did this over and over...and was so proud of herself! She is showing SO much more interest in this than her big brother at this time! Craziness! :)

Pumpkin Patch!

I took the kiddos on there first hayride at the pumpkin patch with their aunts (my sisters, Jessica and Kristin). It was a little chilly, but it was a great time! Here are some photos from our day:

Sweet Baby Girl

She lays her head on my shoulder. Exhausted. The heat coming off of her body almost hurts my skin. She's not feeling well...my baby girl is sick. There are many parts of my job as mommy that I love...and if I'm being completely honest, many that I don't. :) Having sick children, especially when they are weak and burning with fever, is one of the hardest things. I just feel SO helpless to help them. I would give anything to have them be instantly healed. But being sick is just one of the not-so-fun parts of being alive. We live in a world of germs and illness, and I cannot protect them from every little thing. But at least with each little (or big) cold, their little immune systems are getting stronger! :)

I took Naomi to the doctor today. She's had a strange rash on her leg and has been saying "owie" and crying when we wipe her diaper area. Then when she started in with the fever, I decided it was time for her to be seen! :) Good news is that the rash is probably a random allergy to something and hydro-cortisone should do the trick! Her diaper area looked just fine, too. She is probably nervous about the wiping ever since they had to catheterize her last month. :( Poor thing! And the fever? We have no clue! Probably the start of a nasty virus that's been going around.

The only bummer thing we found out was that she had lost weight since her appointment with the GI doctor 2 and a half weeks ago. I was SO thrilled that she had gotten over 19lbs at that appointment (19lbs, 1oz). But today, she was 18lbs, 15oz. I know...it's only 2oz...probably not a big deal. But for a little girl who is already below the 2nd percentile, we'd prefer to see her weight going in the opposite direction. I know some kids are just little...and that's not a problem. I think the problems with Naomi are that she started out on one growth curve, but has completely fallen off. She also still pukes after eating from time to time. She eats A TON, yet never seems fully satisfied. She also seems to have a possible allergy to rice. We aren't TOO worried, as she is developing just fine otherwise. We just want her to be 100% healthy...and have a hunch that she's not. She'll be having the endoscopy this coming Wednesday, and hopefully we'll have some answers after that. If that test comes back showing that everything looks great, then I think we can just conclude that she's just going to be a little peanut (who happens to vomit after she eats)! :) Actually, I think we've isolated her vomiting to instances in which she has consumed some sort of rice product, so we may be good to go if that's the case.

Test Post...

Just a quick post to test photo sizes...

Quick little update...

Naomi is doing MUCH better. After a visit to the orthopedic surgeon, it was determined that she must have pulled some muscles in her groin. It took her a few days to finally start using that leg and walking again. She is back to her spunky self! :) She spends most of her days following Isaac around, and when he's not around, you'll hear her constantly asking, "Where's Isaac?" It is SO cute!

I am a little surprised that she wants to be around him so much, given how ugly he can be with her. We are really struggling with his almost constant rudeness. He just gets SO moody. We pray over him every day and I hope with all of my heart that this is just part of his "terrible two's" phase. He totally has moments of sweetness. Don't get me wrong. Like when he wraps his arms around me and says, "I'm giving you a hug because I love you so berry much, mommy." :) I know there is a sweet little boy inside this kid! I just wish we saw more of it these days. He is severely sleep deprived (ever since switching to the big boy bed), and I just think it's really taking a toll on his body and spirit.

After a few weeks of preschool (in the two's room), Isaac has been moved up to be with the 3-5-year-olds. He is thriving there and although he doesn't enjoy being dropped off at school, he never wants to leave when it's time to go! :) He is quite the social butterfly and is acclimating really well with that group of kids. And I am happy that he's in an environment where he is able to learn and not get bored! :)

Anyway...more to come...hopefully sooner than later! :)