The BIG news...here it is...

I will be posting this on my photography blog next month:

I have gone back and forth about how to share this news with the world. Do I keep it simple and professional? Or do I let everyone know what is REALLY going on? I have decided to be real, because I know of no other way to doing things. So if you want the short story, then here it is: I am stepping away from my photography business for awhile, and will no longer be accepting clients for 2011. If you want more information about the journey of this decision, then read on.

I need to start by saying that I love...I mean LOVE what I do. Photography has been such a wonderful creative and emotional outlet for me. I love being able to bless clients with images of their precious babies that they will treasure for a lifetime. It comes SO easily to me. And it doesn't usually feel like "work" as it is a passion of mine.

I will follow that by sharing that I NEVER intended to be in business right now. It started as a hobby when I started snapping photos of my own new baby boy. I slowly and steadily became obsessed with it. I spent MANY hours online, researching and learning. And when I was nearly six months pregnant with my daughter, I started practicing on family and friends, not realizing how quickly things would unfold. Before I knew it, my expensive hobby turned into a business...and a thriving one. I found myself constantly putting every dime I earned right back into the business. And, in fact, lost QUITE a bit of money that first year. Ask any legitimate photographer, and they will all agree that this is completely normal.

So now I'm in my second year. And things are going great, business-wise. But if I'm being completely honest, my family life has taken a major hit. I am perpetually exhausted and grumpy with my family. We are experiencing behavior problems with my almost 3-year-old son (mostly due to a severe lack of quality time and attention from me). I have been staying at home full-time with my kiddos AND working a full-time job on the side. Who does that? Seriously? I have found myself working nearly every waking hour of my life. If I'm not with my kids, I'm with my photography. And I'm tired.

I'm tired of missing family time because I have committed to capture someone else's life. I'm tired of spending countless hours on my computer while my family needs me. I'm tired of crawling into bed in the middle of the night, long after my husband has gone to sleep...because I was up late working...after a LONG day of working with the kids. And then I wake up and do it all over again. I have completely mismanaged my time, which has led to a lot of unnecessary stress. I've tried to make some changes over the past several months, but no matter how few clients I have, my heart is still torn.

I will begin to close with a quote from my family blog from January 1st, 2009 (two months before launching into business):

"Anyway...this is beginning to get long-winded! Sorry! :) All this to say...I want to be a better mommy to my kids. A better wife to my husband. And a better (shiver) homemaker for my family. ;) I want to put my all into this new job of mine {being a mommy}. I can become a wonderful photographer over the years. But that's not my 'job' right now. Though it makes me feel great to get such positive feedback, I need to just keep it at that. I need to focus my attention on the most important job I have...raising up healthy, loving children who will one day have families of their own! I hope I do better with this in 2009!! :)"

And then my ding-dong self went into full-time business two months later! How crazy is THAT? :) I have agonized over this decision. Many tears have been shed. The "right" thing to do is obvious...but it is SO hard to give this up. I have LOVED developing, maintaining, and creating this business. I love photography. But more than anything in this world, I love my husband and my children. And without a doubt, they come first. My deepest desire is to honor God in whatever I do. And as I look at my mess of a life right now, I cannot believe for a minute that I am honoring Him. The Lord has graciously shown me that I had been using my business to fulfill me...rather than Him alone. And I am SO ready for that to change.

I am not quitting. I am not giving up. I am making a very difficult decision to step away from a business that I love to care for the family that I ADORE. I am not going to cease being a photographer. I will continue taking photos of my precious kiddos (and any more that we may have). I will enjoy documenting their lives like I should have been over the past two years. I am certain that I will return to being in business again some day...I just don't know when. And in the meantime, I will enjoy every bit of my life raising my beautiful children and being the loving wife my husband deserves.

Thank you SO much for all of your wonderful support. I appreciate all of the encouragement over these past couple of years...it has truly carried me through! It is with tearful eyes and a joyful heart that I write...so long for now.

So there it is! THAT'S the big news. Pretty major stuff. And it feels SO freeing to know that I only have four sessions left to finish out this year...and then I'm DONE (with business). :) The more I have wrestled through this decision, the better I feel about it. I am SO ready to have my life back...to be the wife, mother, daughter, friend that everyone around me deserves! I have NO clue when I will return to business...and that's okay with me. I'll wait until I feel like the time is right next time. :)

Oh...and in case you were interested in reading that post that I referred to, you can find it here.

Peace.